Originally published at EastIdahoNews.com

By Emily Miller

REXBURG — Preston Jenkins knows what it’s like to feel like an outsider as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

He is an active, believing member. He’s married and expecting his first child with his wife, Taryn. But his story as a gay member of the church has many hills and valleys.

Jenkins, the author of “This Boy and His Mother,” will share his story and answer questions about his experience Saturday at 7 p.m. at the Rexburg Tabernacle Civic Center at 51 N. Center Street. “Do I Belong? Life As a Gay Latter-day Saint” is intended for an LDS audience, Jenkins says, but all are welcome to attend.

“‘Do I belong?’ seemed like a big, good umbrella question to ask,” Jenkins says. He notes that although his own experience as a gay member of the LDS Church is the theme of the event, he believes what he has to share can benefit those dealing with other difficulties as well.

Until recently, when he moved to Rexburg to study at Brigham Young University-Idaho, Jenkins was a co-host on the podcast “Sit Down with Sky and Preston,” alongside his friend Skyler Sorensen. The podcast and the hosts have made waves in the online LDS community, as Jenkins and Sorensen are both openly gay but are married to women — a choice that can be controversial even among church members. But he hopes audience members will come with an open mind to hear his perspective. He says he carefully considered his potential audience when planning for the event.

“What do people in Rexburg need to hear?” he asks. Jenkins encourages faculty from BYU-Idaho and local ecclesiastical leaders to attend, in hopes that his experiences can help them as they minister to those in their circles who are attracted to those of the same sex. He also hopes that people in the LGBTQ community, or those dealing with any kind of difficult life trauma and are seeking healing, will consider attending.

“How do you belong to the church, and how do you fit in, and how do you find healing when things go awry?” he asks.

Jenkins spent three years distanced from the church after returning early from his mission in Asia and dealing with trauma from his experience due to his attractions and some abuse. While he always maintained a close relationship with his mother, he says he kept other family members at arm’s length during that time.

“I hated God so much that I hated them too because they reminded me of God,” he says. “When you don’t want to change, you don’t want to be around people who are close to God because God demands change.”

He was suicidal for about six months during that time, he says. In his book, he recounts the support he received from his mother, and how knowing his mother loved him helped him stay alive. But his struggles with depression continued, and he felt that God had abandoned him. Eventually, he says, he became exhausted from maintaining bitterness and anger.

“I threw it out of my own heart,” he says. “Healing was exponential after that.”

Jenkins says the purpose of his outreach is not to dwell on the hard parts of his life, but to “provide context” that might help others in their own struggles.

“I just want this story out there to help people,” he says. “I thankfully had people in my life who would let me ask questions. Let’s engage with this topic. Let’s figure it out.”

Jenkins says he doesn’t know what size of crowd to expect, but that if he can help one person, it’s worth it to him. He says his event being scheduled on the same date as Rexburg Pride, taking place a few blocks away at Porter Park at the same time, was coincidental. “Do I Belong?” is being organized by his brother, Dallin Jenkins, as Dallin’s senior project at BYU-Idaho, and the date was chosen at the beginning of the semester. But, with a smile, Jenkins says the timing will “give people options.”

Jenkins works as a data analyst, but he decided to go back to school recently and is now a marriage and family studies major at BYU-Idaho. His mother, Cheri Jenkins, is in the same major as an online student, and that has been a great experience for them both, he says. Because he was already established in a career, he hadn’t planned to go back to school. He still doesn’t know if it will lead to a career change or not, but he felt like it was something he needed to do.

“It really wasn’t on my mind until God asked me to think about it,” he says.

He says he and his wife have felt very validated by what he has learned since going back to school.

“Everything that we felt led to do is actually sound science,” he says. “We’re getting more vocabulary to describe our experiences.”

Jenkins met his wife, Taryn, on an LDS Church history trip when they were teenagers. After 16 years of friendship, including one false start when they tried dating, he decided to pursue her for real. Jenkins recognizes that his and Taryn’s choice to marry and start a family together is controversial for some people. He says it causes people outside of their relationship a lot more consternation than it causes them, and that they’re actually pretty normal and have a happy marriage. He says the long friendship helps.

“It’s all about friendship,” he says. “Friendship is the bedrock of a healthy marriage.”

On Saturday, Jenkins plans to share his story and then open a Q&A where audience members can ask questions.

“More than anything, it’s a story of ‘How do you come back and find belonging in the fullest sense?’” he says. “I think that’s why people find me so odd. I’m fine living the gospel of Jesus Christ. I like it.”

Those who would like to RSVP to the event or anonymously submit questions for the Q&A can do so here.